A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on. ~Carl Sandburg
Always kiss your children goodnight — even if they’re already asleep. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can’t get it. ~Irena Chalmers
Aside from new babies, new mothers must be the most beautiful creatures on earth. ~Terri Guillemets, 2010 January 26th, journal
It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money. ~Elinor Goulding Smith
If you were to open up a baby’s head — and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should — you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland. ~Dave Barry
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud “snort” noises.) I don’t know why parents don’t do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you’re a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won’t have his friends hanging around your house all the time. ~P.J. O’Rourke
I came from a Land of honey and cream
Where all that one did was to sleep and dream.
And the dreams I treasured were bright and gay
About budding trees and the flowers in May…
~Gertrude Buckingham, “My 84th Birthday,” 1964 [The “Land” she’s referring to is actually the time before her birth, although to my mind I think of the world of INFJ daydreaming when I see this verse. —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]
Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now I have six children—and no theories. ~Author Unknown, c.1946 [Thanks, Garson O’Toole of QuoteInvestigator.com!]
Children are one third of our population and all of our future. ~Select Panel for the Promotion of Child Health, 1981
A crying baby is the best form of birth control. ~Carole Tabron
Babies are such a nice way to start people. ~Don Herrold
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Adoption is when a child grew in its mommy’s heart instead of her tummy. ~Author Unknown
Where did you come from, baby dear?
Out of the Everywhere and into here.
~George MacDonald, At the Back of the North Wind
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty. ~Mark Twain
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. ~Fran Lebowitz
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
…a little child, born yesterday,
A thing on mother’s milk and kisses fed…
~”Hymn to Mercury” (one of the Homeric Hymns), translated from Greek by Percy Bysshe Shelley
A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase. ~Author Unknown
Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born. ~George Bernard Shaw
Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other. ~Ed Howe
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. ~Leo J. Burke
If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family. ~Lawrence Housman
Every child begins the world again…. ~Henry David Thoreau
The moment a child is born,
the mother is also born.
She never existed before.
The woman existed, but the mother, never.
A mother is something absolutely new.
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race. ~Barbara Christine Seifert
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething. ~Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar
Babies are always more trouble than you thought — and more wonderful. ~Charles Osgood